99. MY BROTHER RAY I was twenty-six when my brother died, driving the car he loved, a small topaz orange Triumph Spitfire, on a perfect May evening, my third wedding anniversary. A station wagon crashed into his tiny sports car. Closest to me in age, just 13 months younger, named after our father, the one Mother loved best. Small and wiry, while the rest of us were tall, his eyes blue like mine. When my brothers came to tell me, it was almost morning and he'd only been dead a few hours. Dead, my brother, impossible. I don't know what words they used. I just remember standing all smashed together in the hallway of my tiny apartment, the three of us wrapped in a single embrace, clutching and sobbing. I'll never forget the gut-wrenching pain. Until that moment, I had not understood what loss was about. *comments welcome